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Well it is official, I am going to be going to (repetitive, I know, just making sure you are reading) my aunt’s wedding. So I will be making this as special as possible and not just because of the wedding. WordPress is telling me that this is the 1000th post (not sure if it is WordPress only posts or all of those and the imports, but who cares). I will be covering the three days I will be there and if possible (well, you’ll know if I did it or not) a special video! Yep, so buckle up and hang on. I’m taking this motherfucker into overdrive.

Day 1

We drove up after I got out of class on Friday and it was boring as all hell. I was the unlucky middle seat smashed between my brother and grandma. I just listened to my iPod the whole time until we got to the hotel. After getting to the hotel we unpack the car and go inside. We checked in and headed to our room. Then we dropped off all the stuff and headed off, again. This time we were driving to my aunt’s new husband’s step-father’s house (damn that was a mouthful). The house ended up being who knows how far from civilization and my unlucky ass seems to hit a dead zone for cell reception even though everyone else gets it (fuckers). We ended up passing the path to the house and had to turn around on the small narrow road (where the speed limit is fucking 40, crazy motherfuckers). We again got to the path and headed down.

A few hundred feet down the path was a big ol’ house and big fucking trees. I noticed my oldest cousin’s BMW so I knew this was the right place. My dad parks the car and we get out. Everyone comes over to greet us and all that wonderful shit. There were already tables and chairs set up but just the basics, nothing fancy. It was hot as hell and I started to sweat pretty quickly. Two of my cousins (my aunt’s sons) came out and met up with us. I’m the oldest of the cousins on my mom’s side of the family and my aunt’s oldest is a year or so younger than me so naturally he was the one to talk to so I wouldn’t get too fucking bored (too late).

My dad pulled out his camera and started snapping off pictures because he thinks he is cool like that (he’s not) and my mom went to talk to her sister. My brother went and talked with his equal (my other cousin). A little later my uncle arrives with his two kids (the youngest two of my cousins) and then later on my other aunt (who is actually adopted) came with her two demons (including my only female cousin that is immediate to my family). Anyway so everyone is being chatty and shit then later on it comes time for rehearsal. Everyone got seated and we went through the routine. My cousins, being the bright asses they are, fucked up a few times so we ended up doing it more than a few times. Once we got everything taken care of we ate and continued to chat. Then everyone went back to the hotel to prepare for the big day.

Day 2

And so it was. The day of the wedding. I woke up around 7am or so and noticed that my mom was up. The two of us ended up going to the free breakfast thing that the hotel had. It was decent, nothing super special. After breakfast we headed back up and I got on my laptop. Ended up playing some C&C Generals – Zero Hour to pass time and then screwing around on the internet. Everyone was going about doing their things. A little later I jumped in the shower and got myself ready. My mom, as usual, took the longest even though she bitches about how slow we are. Whatever. Around 2pm we head out to drive over.

When we got there everyone was doing the finishing touches for the tables and such. The women went in the house to prepare themselves and all the guys pulled out drinks and talked. I found my aunt’s sons and hung out with them. About an hour later the women were still changing and all the guys were wondering when the damn thing was going to start. My slightly younger cousin and myself noticed a girl a that looked a few years older than us and wondered who it was. She was pretty hot and both of us were interested but neither prepared to initiate contact. She went in the house and it returned to talking. The official photographer and the priest arrived which meant things were about to get started (sort of).

After a “slight” delay the signal to get our asses in the chairs was given. Everyone found their seats and the music started. It turns out they didn’t use the typical wedding song and went with a custom song where my aunt actually sung it. As soon as she walked out of the house the full attention was on her. My two cousins were on each of her arms as she started to walk with my girl cousin throwing rose pedals down the aisle. When they reached the priest my cousins gave her pecks on the cheek and then sat down beside my brother and myself. The priest started and the religious crap went through one ear and out the other for me. I could hear my brother snicker because he is an asshole like that. You could tell that my aunt and her new husband were a bit nervous being in front of over one hundred people. When it came to the rings they both accidentally offered the wrong hand. The correction caused slight laughter in the crowd. When it came to kissing the bride the priest offered some wise words; “You know what to do.” The cheering erupted.

Celebration followed as the mood switched to party time. I went around to various people (mainly people I fucking knew) and talked. I kept getting the “You’re so grown up. I remember when you were this (finger height time) tall. I can’t believe it.” Oh, and this one, “Which one are you again?” Yeah, smooth. I ended up following the older, younger, whatever, cousin around since he knew more people than I did. During the time I snapped off many pictures and a video (hopefully it uploads, but you’ll see). I also maintained a visual on the “hot cousin” as we went around and asked a few people about the “legality” of such. The blues band got all the old people on their feet swinging and the smaller kids did what kids do (I’m not explaining for you).

As it got later the people started to leave until the “die hards” remained. Around 10pm or so we headed back to the hotel (no, the “hot cousin” wasn’t there, she left with a friend). I met up with my cousin who used his sneaky abilities to smuggle some vodka back to his room. His brother was like “Drink it!” but he was like “No” and then I took charge and drank a bit. Then we got some Coke and mixed it with the vodka. I ended up getting fucked up around the third glass (I rarely drink so I don’t have a tolerance yet). I don’t remember much except we watched Snakes on a Plane and prank calling this one lady (who I guess is a cousin now or something) who’s kid was hanging with us (he is fucking crazy). At one point I took another big gulp from the bottle and that is when I had to take a piss which is not easy when I can barely stand or walk. I ended up having to prop myself against the wall or something. Then I fell on the bed and that was the end of that.

Day 3

I woke up around 7am (again) and found that my cousins were somewhat awake. I picked my ass out of bed and headed down to my original room. When I got there I stayed away from my parents and got my shit. I had a killer headache (hangover). I did the whole breakfast thing again and then showered. Around 10am I crashed in a chair and pretty much hovered around passing out and sleeping for a bit until it was time to go. As we left we said our goodbyes and shit. I pulled the car around and then we were off. On the way home we stopped by a deli and grabbed a bite to eat. Then it was home. It feels good to be home. Now I need to cure the bites from the fucking bugs.




One Comment

  1. awesome pictures!!

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