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Bloggers, visitors, spambots, lend me your monitors. I am here today to let you in on the status of my fucked up family. It is always hard to deal with the unique situations that come around when I am around them and not even then. Where should I start? Let us try the extended family. My aunts, uncles, and my grandparents. Try not to squirm for it will only hurt worse.

My extended family is, well, a pain in the ass. At least on my mom’s side that is. My mom has two sisters (although one was adopted so technically it is one sister) and one brother. One of her sisters (let us call her Aunt #1) has recently gotten divorced from her abusive husband. They had two sons. One of the sons (Cousin #1) is a year or two younger than me (and a dick). The other (Cousin #2) has A.D.D. or something close to it. The kid is just fucking annoying every time I see him. But this is beside the point. So Aunt #1 has spend the last year or so separated from her former husband and complained to my mom about how he keeps calling her and all this kind of stuff. Naturally my mom finds it important enough to tell me for whatever reason. I have been hearing this kind of shit for almost two years and she still can’t stop telling me things that I could care even the slightest about. Now Aunt #1 has found a new man and he seems decent (from the only two times I have seen him). And the best part? My mom still won’t shut up about how wonderful it is.

It gets worse. My mom’s adopted sister (Aunt #2) is, to put it bluntly, a bitch. Same with her husband. Oh, and the kids too. Those little Nazis annoy the living fuck out of me. The slightest “bad” thing I do results in their little one (Cousin #3, who also happens to be one of my two girl cousins) telling on me which results in my uncle going commando on me. What in the fuck did I do to them? Jesus fuck. It’s not like I told her she was a whore or anything. And their other reject child (Cousin #4) is a spaz case like Cousin #2. The only difference? This one is smaller and faster. Little fucking demon child. My mom has also separated her ties to Aunt #2 due to her bitch-ness. Now I don’t have to see her much at all anymore.

Now comes my only uncle from my mom’s side of the family. No need to number this asshole. He was single for most of his life until about five years or so back. Then her married a hideous she-devil. I’m not fucking kidding. The “thing” has bug eyes or something. Now the thing about my uncle is he is one cheap fucker. You may be wondering how cheap he can be, well let me tell you. Back in December he gave me a credit card sized pocket knife for Christmas and a few years back I received a fucking joke calendar. Yeah, a fucking calendar. No, I haven’t even opened it and is now of no use to me. Oh, and what did he do for my 18th birthday? He sent me a check for $375. Some of you may think this isn’t bad but it is once you read what he wrote. In the card he said that he “saved” a little for me each year of my special existence. Now I’m no banker so don’t quote me on this but I’m pretty sure even if he was cheap and put a little in for, say eighteen years, that interest would make it bigger than it was. Who knows. What have I done with the check? Well it was cashed and I’m not allowed to use it according to my parents. Great. What a gift that was. This is also where Cousin #5 and Cousin #6 come in. I’ve only seen Cousin #5 who was a baby then. My mom broke ties because this jerk-off sided with Aunt #2 during a dispute about my grandparents. As for Cousin #6, I hear it is a she (which is the second girl cousin) but I have yet to even see her (not that I want to).

Now I want to close the extended family part of my speech with my grandparents. These two have been married for what seems like forever. Born during the start of the depression both have lived a rollercoaster of a life. Ever since that fateful summer years ago when my grandpa had a stroke it has been a living hell. I try my hardest to not be an asshole but I have had enough with it. He just needs to die so everything gets smoothed out. Because of the stroke my mom’s side of the family is a shattered piece of glass. Fighting amongst themselves over who has more power of the others and who will take care of my grandparents. Well we got stuck with them and now my home life has turned into a pile of shit because of it. My grandpa can’t even do the simplest things these days. My grandma can’t even stand up straight, has trouble remembering things, and is slower than paint drying. The strain of it all is slowly choking everyone to death. I get to hear it all, without choice too. My mom will pull me in to do something for them even though I really don’t want to and she will do it knowing I have my own plans. Her excuse? “He is falling apart and might not last much longer.” Bullshit. You’ve been saying that for the last five years. He is not dead yet mother. Not even your jinxing has killed him. The more I get pulled in, the less I care. I have hit the red line. To the point where my mom now thinks I am a jackass for not seeing them more often. Not to be the uncaring asshole, but I do hope he dies this summer so life can return to a somewhat normal state. It is unbearable.

My home life is not too pretty either. I’ll start with my dad for this. He is a cop, plain and simple. When I was little he was one and when I got to the late stages of elementary school he left and joined the phone company. That only lasted a few years and he rejoined the sheriff’s department. As he tried to move up past his original position he has had to do to various posts. A few years ago he worked for that county’s district attorney and then went to being a tech detective. As of January he was transferred to jail duty as part of the rotation. Now he works four days a week. Every time he is home it is something new. He is easily pissed off and explodes over anything that he doesn’t like. Simple things like not being able to find something leads to him yelling at everyone. I just stay in my room and avoid contact because I just might happen to fuck something up and I don’t need to be yelled at. He will even yell at anyone for something that was his fault or mistake. Just the other day when we were in Sacramento he left his driver’s license and one of his ATM cards at a store and didn’t notice until we were pretty much home. Since they were closed and he couldn’t easily call back and retrieve them he unleashes his anger onto us even though it was his own mistake which cased the situation. This is the kind of shit I live with every fucking day.

My brother has his own bag of trick. To put it simply he does whatever it takes to piss you off and then multiplies it to the point where you just want to kill him. The catch? It usually gets you in trouble. He will also rant to his friends about his “moral” victories over you. Then you hear the shit he said coming from his little “worshippers.” Hell, when they call the house and I pick up they mock me so I hang up. Fuckers. I don’t need this shit and hope that one day he gets something done to him that crushes his ego to the smallest bits.

Lastly there is my mom. Quite possibly the most annoying of all. She will tell anything and everything and you won’t even care about what she says but she’ll keep talking. Her mission these days? Take care of her parents. That is it. She has no time for anything else. Our television is broken and she claims she looks for the warranty to return it everyday. Yet I see her either over at my grandparents place or laying on her ass watching pointless television shows. It doesn’t click. Her best excuse for not getting things done? “There are only so many hours in the day!” Well maybe if she got off her ass more often and did things I could prove that the statement is bullshit. She also pampers my brother to no end. I will ask her why he got something and she will say something along the lines of “you should have come with us.” Well Ms. Fancy Pants I still wouldn’t have gotten anything so I decided not to go and you seem it is necessary to reward my brother for going. Good parenting. Half the things she does are not logical at all. And that Scottish club doesn’t help. She is always trying to get me in it and I refuse each and every time. Now they are in a bind because they got denied a place to hold their little “fair” this year since the baseball park is closing (which also happens to be where my brother works, but now he will lose it, sucker). Since then that is what I have been hearing her bitch about. One of the other things she does is telling me that we are broke and have no money. Then she comes home with useless things that we have no use for or can’t put in our house due to her “not having time to clean.” Great job! She has said that once my grandpa dies she will get a job. I’m not holding my breath to that statement one bit.

Now you can see why I literally hate my family. They find some way to ruin my life and make it worse that imaginable. They put limits on what I can do and say they are doing it “because they love me.” Yeah, right. I am apparently a “burning hole in their pocket.” The next “Life Fuck” moment is they are going to pull a student loan so I can go to the nearby community college but they will use part of my student loan on themselves and I get to pay it all back once I get a job. Oh boy!

As soon as I get out of high school I want to move out as soon as possible and try to limit contact with them. I cannot stand them much more. My life needs to be turned around and little by little it currently is trying. Hopefully once it gets closer to June 8th it will be even further.

NOTE: I have my days and some of them I’m just pure hate. I had a bad day today so some of this may be more negative than it really is but I did base most of this on fact.


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